Information on Trichotillomania

I have pulled my hair out since I was little.

I left myself bald through having trichotillomania and I suffered ridicule all through school because of it. My anxiety and phobias have literally taken over most of my life, however after 30 years I am now getting help. It was only recently that even my family found out - previously they simply thought that I had alopecia. Now the truth is out though I feel much more positive.

Carol

I am 18 years old and a freshman in college.

I have suffered from trichotillomania since I was a sophomore in high school but I hid it from my parents, family and friends until a year ago. I started by pulling out my eyelashes and would blame it on bad make-up. I didn't really seem to have control over myself and was scared and ashamed to admit that I had a problem. I think however that my parents knew all along that something was wrong but they were just too afraid to do something. When I went to the doctor for my physical for college, my mother decided it was time we got outside advice and that it was time I needed help. I went to a psychologist for about 2 months and was put on medication that was supposed to help me. After two weeks I took myself off the medication because I was no longer a person and no longer had feelings. I stopped going to the counsellor because she too was afraid to talk about the real issue of my problem.

It has almost been two years now since I really became 'open' about my problem. The hardest thing throughout this whole situation was not being able to get my hair cut because I was too ashamed to tell anyone what was going on outside of my support group. I have not finally recovered but feel better about myself and I have more good days than bad ones. I cover my bald spots. I now have a lease of life and hope that one day this will all be behind me. My family and my faith have helped me every step of the way and have reassured me that nothing is impossible. Being a 'trichster' is a part of who I am and it will always be a part of who I was. It affects so many Americans that it is always important to remember you are never in this alone. I have faith that everyone can overcome this hurdle and win the race against trichotillomania.

Chelsea

I started pulling my hair out obsessively 3 years ago when both my sisters left home.

I was 13 at the time and as we were all so close I found it much harder to cope once they were gone. Although my parents are still married I found it hard to live with them once my siblings had gone as they argued a lot and I would often feel it was my responsibility to prevent this, therefore I would place myself between their conflict in a hope it would stop. However this just increased my already very high anxiety levels and I started to pull my hair out more frequently, sometimes spending up to 8 hours a day 'grooming' and pulling at it. I have always been pretty anxious and have had many strategies to relieve anxiety, stress and anger since I was a toddler. I went though stages of obsessive counting or of repeating an action for years on end, but my hair pulling was the most disruptive. I felt ashamed and embarrassed when people would comment, making things up to cover what was really happening. My family didn't understand either and it really hurt when my oldest sister referred to me as a 'freak'. A year and a half ago I finally went to the doctor and was diagnosed with trichotillomania, OCD and mild ADHD. I have spent the last year in therapy and my habits are starting to diminish, although I have picked up other ones such as trying to scratch my arms with sharp objects when I'm angry or upset. My therapist helped me see this as a cry for help and both my parents have since started going to see my therapist also in an attempt to help me. I should soon be finished with therapy and am finally pleased to be on track to stopping pulling my hair. Various techniques I have been taught include tapping pressure points, distracting myself, finding something else to 'groom' in times of anxiety (the dog was useful here), and generally talking and trying to sort out the things that made me pull out my hair in the first place. Although I have felt very selfish and have gone through periods of depression whilst trying to cope, I am now understanding the reasons behind my behaviour and am looking towards preventing a recurrence of trichotillomania.

Jenny

I started pulling my hair out at the age of 7/

I'm now 35 years old and will have to wear wigs for the rest of my life. I've overpicked my eyebrows so much that I have to pencil most of them back in. I've done my eyelashes too. My doctor doesn't take my problem seriously - I have had to fight for years to get help at my own request. I'm now also agoraphobia, social phobia and suffer with OCD. These days I get two wigs per year via the NHS which really isn't enough. I need at least six or so per year but unfortunately have to find the �200 per wig myself. They won't even pay for me to havea human hair wig. I hope other people fight for the help they deserve. I'd never want anyone to end up like me.

M Victory

I've been pulling my hair out since I was twelve years old.

I am turning 19 in a few months time. When I was growing up my family didn't know about my problem. I was so obsessed with pulling my hair though out that I did it in front of my family and friends so I don't know what took them so long to find out. My friends and family tell me to stop all the time and say 'cant you just make yourself stop?' But its not that easy when you have obsessive compulsive disorder. I went to my doctor and she looked at me and put me on medication. Unfortunately the medication wasn't very helpful and it actually seemed to make me more depressed. I guess meds can work in different ways with different people. One day hopefully I will find the answer to stop this.

Stephanie

I started pulling my eyelashes when I was 10.

My french teacher noticed in class one day and made a big fuss in front of all my class mates. I felt totally humiliated. I was also first treated for depression when I was 11. I kept promising myself I would grow out of the hair pulling by the time I was 20 and would find a way to stop. During my thirties I plucked up the courage to seek medical advice/assistance. I was told to "pull myself together", and that only I could do something about it. I sought help through chat forums on the internet but found they only made me think about my problem more and because of this my problem became worse. I try to wear a baseball cap when I'm indoors to reduce the amount I pull my hair. At present my hair is growing back - don't know how long this will last though. I have no eye lashes and sparce eyebrows - thank god for make up. I pull from other less obvious places also and pray that one day a successful treatment will be found - hopefully before its too late for me. The only person who knows, other than me, is my husband. He doesn't understand it but I've likened it to him biting his nails which he can do completely unconsciously. The condition is gradually getting more recognition and I hope all of you who have posted previously find help. I've been affected and inhibited all my life and wonder where I could have got to if it wasn't for this problem that I have which clearly holds me back. Good luck to you all.

Rachel

I've suffered from trich since I was 11.

At first it was my eyebrows, then eyelashes and then my hair. I have bald patches all over my head and it is noticeable that I have no eyebrows and eyelashes. I had a bad time growing up because of it, with stares and people constantly asking about why I have none? I used to say my sister shaved my eyebrows off in my sleep, because I didn't know what else to say. And, to add to all this my mum contributed to the bullying by saying that I looked like an alien, in fact she still fails to understand that it is a condition. I can't wait to show her all this information I''ve found, and that I am not the only one. This is actually a disorder - I'm not just weird.

Stacey

My first experience was having a friend pull out the more wiry hairs from my scalp when I was about eleven or twelve.

Somehow it just felt good. I don't really know why I started hair pulling myself, but think it may have something to do with stress. When I was 15 I became involved with an older man who was extremely abusive and I found myself pulling hair almost non-stop. It became so frequent that most of the time I was doing it in public albeit entirely subconsciously. From there I went through a stage where I was pulling out pubic hair. Now, at 33, I have a happy life but pull my eyebrows and I don't know why or how to stop.

Moi